Angry?
Raging? Furious? Incandescent? Are you fuming about what has happened to you? Are you raging at the way you have been treated by someone who was supposed to love you? It is alright to be angry. It is a natural reaction and it is a recognised phase in the grief curve or loss cycle as described by the Swiss-American psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kulber-Ross.
The first stage is denial. The shock and hurt are too much to for us to process, so a numbness clouds our thoughts and actions.
Anger comes next and I salute you for feeling this surge of energy. Anger is not a passive emotion. It isn’t a pleasant place to be, but you are more alive and energetic now than when stunned by events. With a coach’s help you can harness this energy to move your life forward. In this time of unwelcome and alarming change, clarity is key. Now is the time to redefine your values and needs. Use the impetus of your anger. It may seem a big ask, but with a coach you can redirect and reshape your anger to help you move forward in positive ways. Don’t take rat poison yourself and wait for the rat to die. Show him/her what they have lost. Be your best self. Don’t let anyone make your life unhappy Or in the language of anger “Screw him/her, watch this space! I refuse to be beaten!”
The next stage is bargaining. We are trying to persuade ourselves that things can be mended. That there is a way back, that things weren’t as bad as we thought. It is normal to feel like this. You may get stuck in any stage of the grief cycle and you may go forwards and then backwards again. Our reaction to sadness and injury is as individual as you and me.
The last two stages are self-evident – depression and acceptance. Coaching will facilitate your recovery and hone your reactions to the car crash of your relationship. Do you want to fast track yourself out of the pain and sadness? Viktor Frankl said you can be victimised, but you don’t have to be a victim.
Frankl also said “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Let me support you in choosing your attitude and how to put your best foot forward. You don’t have to do it alone. Contact me to see if we are a good fit. I am here to help.